Science
of Santa Claus: Jolly Old Elf Really Can Deliver Presents in One Night, Says NC
State Engineer
Media
Contacts:
Dr. Larry Silverberg, 919/515-5665
Mick Kulikowski, News Services,
919/515-3470
Dec.
6, 2006
Dont
believe in Santa Claus?
If
youre skeptical of Santas abilities to deliver presents to millions
of homes and children in just one night, North Carolina State Universitys
Dr. Larry Silverberg, professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering, can explain
the plausible science and engineering principles that could allow the Jolly Old
Elf to pull off the magical feat year after year.
With
his cherubic smile and twinkling eyes, Santa may appear to be merely a jolly old
soul but he and his North Pole elves have a lot going on under the funny-looking
hats, Silverberg says. Their advanced knowledge of electromagnetic waves, the
space/time continuum, nanotechnology, genetic engineering and computer science
easily trumps the know-how of contemporary scientists.
Silverberg
says that Santa has a personal pipeline to childrens thoughts via
a listening antenna that combines technologies currently used in cell phones and
EKGs which informs him that Mary in Miami hopes for a surfboard, while
Michael from Minneapolis wants a snowboard. A sophisticated signal processing
system filters the data, giving Santa clues on who wants what, where children
live, and even whos been bad or good. Later, all this information will be
processed in an onboard sleigh guidance system, which will provide Santa with
the most efficient delivery route.
Silverberg
adds that letters to Santa via snail mail still get the job done, however.
Silverberg
is not so naïve as to think that Santa and his reindeer can travel approximately
200 million square miles making stops in some 80 million homes in
one night. Instead, he posits that Santa uses his knowledge of the space/time
continuum to form what Silverberg calls relativity clouds.
Based
on his advanced knowledge of the theory of relativity, Santa recognizes that time
can be stretched like a rubber band, that space can be squeezed like an orange
and that light can be bent, Silverberg says. Relativity clouds are
controllable domains rips in time that allow him months to deliver
presents while only a few minutes pass on Earth. The presents are truly delivered
in a wink of an eye.
With
a detailed route prepared and his list checked twice through the onboard computer
on the technologically advanced sleigh, Santa is ready to deliver presents. His
reindeer genetically bred to fly, balance on rooftops and see well in the
dark dont actually pull a sleigh loaded down with toys. Instead,
each house becomes Santas workshop as he utilizes a nano-toymaker to fabricate
toys inside the childrens homes. The presents are grown on the spot, as
the nano-toymaker creates atom by atom toys out of snow and soot,
much like DNA can command the growth of organic material like tissues and body
parts.
And
theres really no need for Santa to enter the house via chimney, although
Silverberg says he enjoys doing that every so often. Rather, the same relativity
cloud that allows Santa to deliver presents in what seems like a wink of an eye
is also used to morph Santa into peoples homes.
Finally,
many people wonder how Santa and the reindeer can eat all the food left out for
them. Silverberg says they take just a nibble at each house. The remainder is
either left in the house or placed in the sleighs built-in food dehydrator,
where it is preserved for future consumption. It takes a long time to deliver
all those presents, after all.
This
is our vision of Santas delivery method, given the human, physical and engineering
constraints we face today, Silverberg says. Children shouldnt
put too much credence in the opinions of those who say its not possible
to deliver presents all over the world in one night. It is possible, and its
based on plausible science.