The
Science of Aliens Miami
Museum of Science & Planetarium Frequently
Asked Questions about How to Defeat an Alien Q.
What supplies should I be sure to have available in order to defeat an alien? A.
Always be sure to have a spare test tube filled with a common human virus (i.e.
the cold, measles or pneumonia), chunks of space rock to throw at the alien, a
small bottle of water to spray in its eyes and a deadly meal (pop rocks and soda)
which will explode in an alien's stomach.
Q.
How do I protect myself if an alien tries to use its powerful rays to read my
mind or control my brain waves? A.
It isn't urban legend, so go straight for the aluminum foil and create the best
helmet you can. Make sure the helmet is thick enough to sustain alien rays (preferably
&H2206 inch thick) and that it covers your entire head. Remember, it's gotta
have a pointy top or it won't work right!
Q.
If an alien grabs my little sis and takes off in its craft, where can I rent a
spaceship to hunt them down? A.
Head straight for Roswell, New Mexico; it is the only possible location of a true
alien invasion and the spot where they left their space ship. If the space ship
is broken, maybe NASA will let you borrow one of theirs.
Q.
What happens if I try the pop rocks and soda, deadly human virus, space rocks
and water, and none of those methods succeed in killing the alien? A.
Go straight for the big guns, literally. Space guns work best, but if you don't
have any of those lying around feel free to use a normal gun. Let the alien swallow
you whole and shoot it numerous of times from the inside. The Men in Black use
this method all of the time, it's a fool proof way to get rid of the alien. In
the end, you should be the only one living, but we warn you, it could get messy.
Q.
If I succeed in killing all of the worker aliens and then the Queen alien comes
to defeat me, what should I do? A.
We truly suggest running, but if you want to be the Will Smith of this adventure,
get ready because the Queen alien is the mother of ALL aliens. Don't get cocky
just because you got lucky beating the worker aliens, this fight won't be a joke.
You should double any potions and/or concoctions because the Queen alien can withstand
more than the worker aliens. Also, expect double the force from the Queen alien
- she will be a lot stronger than her workers. However, once you kill her you
will have saved the planet from a full alien invasion. But don't turn your there's
an offspring you didn't find.
How
to Survive an Alien Invasion *
Don't be too quick to throw away old cassette players, 8-tracks or TV antennas
because they will come in handy when trying to "listen-in" on alien
frequency waves. *
Aliens seem to be very confused by basements so make it your quick getaway in
case of an emergency invasion. If you are forced to walk through a pack of aliens
pretend to be infected, stare off in the distance like you are daydreaming and
tilt your head down and to the side. Move your arms forward ever so slightly and
limp slowly right through them while moaning (this also works on zombies). *
Do not touch or play with alien residue that may have fallen near your house.
Nothing good can come of this. *
Alien planets apparently don't have chocolate or candy, so make sure you have
enough on hand to placate, distract or bribe the invaders. *
Aliens are good at disabling cars, so make sure your bike has plenty of air in
the tires in case you need to make a quick getaway. *
Check your insurance policy to make sure it covers Alien abductions -- that experience
is going to require lots of trips to the shrink that you want to make sure someone
else is paying for. *
As ridiculous as this may seem, aliens don't seem to understand "reflections"
so always keep mirrors close by to hide behind. *
Do not leave home without your Alien Survival Kit.
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