Will
YouTube replace the boob tube? By:
Andi Berlin
Posted: 4/10/08 I
realized for the first time Tuesday that YouTube videos will someday surpass television,
just like MP3s surpassed radio. I was doing the daily online newspaper routine,
when I came across an article about viral videos in my favorite publication, London's
The Guardian. This is a world-class newspaper, comparable to The New York Times,
and right under Olympic protesters and U.S. stock market reports, there were videos
of student cartoons and people farting. But
surprising as it was, I finished the article feeling a little disenchanted, because
most of the videos they recommended weren't very funny at all. In fact, they were
kind of dumb. The best YouTube videos are triumphs in voyeurism, and weren't originally
meant to be funny at all. These videos are the underdogs of Internet entertainment,
but deserve just as much recognition as that stupid Paris Hilton movie that everyone's
making fun of. Unfortunately, these gems are kind of hard to find. Old
commercials. The easiest way to delve into the breadth of knowledge of the recent
historical past is to throw away your book and watch a Red Lobster commercial.
It's got everything you need to know about life in the '90s: why people were so
obsessed with butter, the stinging bursts of excitement on the people's faces
when they saw their cheese biscuits, and the evolution of the commercial jingle.
These commercials are funny because they're so corny (or "cheesy," to
go with the theme) and give you a quick lesson about how advertisements have adapted
to the desires and trends of the populace over time. Educational viewing. Techno
remixes. This was a fad with my friends a few months ago, but I'm not sure if
it ever took off. Just like those anime music videos with Five For Fighting, there
is an entire genre of techno remixes under the search button, including my favorite,
the string of "300" adaptations featuring disembodied and Photo-shopped
heads set to a trance video game song. The funniest part about these videos is
the amount of effort put into them. Seriously, it must have taken Bigbluerig like
four hours to search for and then distort segments of the old white Diabetes commercial
guy. He made him move like he was dancing! Bizarre viewing. Freddy
Freaker. This monster puppet gets a category all for himself, because he looks
like a dancing sculpture made out of snot. He was apparently a satire of the infamous
Crispin Creeper television commercial on MTV in the '90s, a similar monster who
manned a telephone line and would tell jokes and make strange noises when you
called with your credit card. You can find this video by searching for "900
freak," or just going to www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk_J0vm3bCI. Free viewing. '90s
talk shows. In a similar vein, these talk shows are a glimpse into our manipulative
and sensational past. Did you know that Brother Jed was on Sally Jessy Raphael?
The episode was on the popular concept of "religion." Similar pressing
subjects have been attempted and conquered by '90s talk shows, including the Satanic
Underground in which Geraldo claimed there was a worldwide underground Satanic
cult breeding women and killing babies. My personal favorites are The Maury Show
clips that come up when you search "Maury scared," where you can see
victims conquer their fears of pickles, balloons and chickens by screaming in
terror when Maury parades them around the stage so that the audience can laugh
at them. Inspirational viewing. Stairway
to Stardom. This '80s public access amateur variety show provides the easiest
search technique to uncover dozens of awful performances. Usually, you have to
scour through millions of boring people trying to sing badly in their bedrooms
before you see an interesting one, but this show has it all. You've got the crazy
lounge singer named Precious who spends an entire song sobbing until she climaxes
by screaming, "And then I bashed his head into the goddamn radiator."
You've got the mullet woman in leather (Lucille Cataldo) singing her four-and-a-half
minute long original composition "Hairdresser." And you've got Don Costello
who mouths the words "Mahna" to the Benny Hill theme and constantly
has his fingers in the devil horns. Lazy viewing. Pranks.
This search title also yields a wealth of hilarious hits, such as the bizarre
Japanese television shows where they constantly find new ways to catch people
naked, put peacocks in bathrooms and stage fake shootouts in supermarket parking
lots. But there are also the myriad self-made pranks that people do to public
access shows, news organizations, friends and random phone numbers. One of the
best pranks online is an Internet-led operation to humiliate a New York public
access talk show host trying to lead a discussion about gun control, by getting
dozens of people to call in simultaneously and harass him. You can watch the video
at www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIEHI0vfCBk. Sadomasochistic viewing. | 
