Look, up in the sky, it’s a ... well, I dunno

By RAHN FORNEY
Lebanon Daily News

Say the term “UFO” to yourself. Now self-assess the first reaction you have as positive, negative or neutral.

Some examples: Positive — “The aliens are coming! Beam me up, Scotty, there’s no intelligent life down here.”; negative: “The aliens are coming! It’s ‘War of the Worlds.’ We’re all gonna die!”; neutral — it’s an unidentified flying object; an indeterminate thing in the sky.

“UFO” is one of those phrases that carries undeserved negative connotations. “UFO” does not mean “flying saucer”; it does not mean “extraterrestrial”; it does not mean abduction, invasion, hallucination, disease, pestilence or rains of frogs. It is a self-defining acronym and a pretty straightforward one.

Several dozen people in the past week in the small town of Stephenville, Texas, have reported seeing a UFO — an object in the sky that they cannot immediately label an aircraft, a satellite, a shooting star, a bat, the Dukes’ General Lee or the moon.

Among the witnesses have been a pilot, a county constable and several business owners.

One of the witnesses, Steve Allen, a freight-company owner and pilot, said he saw an object a mile long and a half-mile wide. “It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts.”

Machinist Mickey Sorrells said he saw a flat, metallic object in the sky. He watched it through his rifle’s telescopic lens. Despite being teased by friends, he came forward with his story when other stories appeared in a local newspaper.

Federal officials insist there’s a logical explanation. Funny thing, that’s what they always say, and it’s not always the case. Optical illusions, atmospheric anomalies and just plain hoaxes are all involved in the history of UFO sightings and explanations, but when dealing with an unknown and unrepeatable phenomenon, it’s hard to provide an explanation that isn’t going to leave lingering questions.

Sometimes, weird stuff happens. We’re not discounting the view of an Air Force official, who put the sighting down to the confluence of two commercial aircraft resulting in the illusion of a larger form. Nor are we discounting Sorrells’ statement, after his telescopic view of the whats-its, that he could see no bolts or welds in its framework.

Erath County Constable Lee Roy Gaitan is another witness. He’s hedging his bets.

“I didn’t see a flying saucer, and I don’t know what it was, but it wasn’t an airplane, and I’ve never seen anything like it,” Gaitan said. Well, clear as mud, that. “I think it must be some kind of military craft — at least I hope it was.”

UFO sightings aren’t uncommon. A poll last year found 14 percent of Americans have seen such a thing. Meaning they saw something not immediately recognizable and not trundling along the ground — nothing more. The Mutual UFO Network, an organization that investigates sightings across the country, is sending folks to Texas to look into the Stephenville sightings. The military used to do that sort of thing, but it doesn’t anymore (that’s its position, and it’s sticking to it).

Investigation of a subjectively observed phenomenon is a devilishly tricky proposition. Humans aren’t the most reliable observers, and absent film, video or other dispassionate recording means, it’s hard to get a handle on what’s happening. There’s a reward that’s been put up for anyone who has photo or video evidence of the Texas sighting.

There was something in the skies over Stephenville, Texas. Enough folks saw it to lead to a reasonable conclusion that there was something there, though determination of its origin, purpose and meaning aren’t likely to come without a repeat performance.

I’ve always said that if the folks driving the UFOs really wanted to put an end to all debate (and the debate is epic), they’d set down on the 50-yard-line at halftime of the Super Bowl. It’d be at least as entertaining as most of the mid-game entertainment the bowls put on, and it would effectively end all doubt.

“‘Klaatu barada nikto,’ and now back to our broadcasters in the booth for the second-half kickoff.”