When UFOs And The Bible Belt Collide

By: Alex Schaefer

In mid-January, news crews flocked to the Bible Belt town of Stephenville, Texas as reports of local UFO sightings filtered through the airwaves. ABC News reported that more than 30 residents reported seeing a flying object "described as a mile-wide, silent object with bright lights, flying low and fast." City Councilman Mark Murphy said "A lot of folks aren't used to this kind of thing." I guess this is a good thing, because then Stephenville might have been known as the first case of an entire town being admitted for mental evaluation.

Reporting a UFO sighting just seems like an exercise in lunacy, which is why a solitary sighting never makes the papers - those instances are usually filed away as irrational cases. The newsworthy cases are when there is a cluster of sightings. Most likely, one person initially reports their vision and then others corroborate the story. It's akin to being at a social gathering where someone says they think they just heard a train and then another person concurs with them - and then another. Soon everyone starts nodding their head in agreement and saying they too heard some sort of noise and that it must have been a train. Then everyone realizes that there isn't a train station within 20 miles. They laugh a lot and then go back to playing guitar hero. That's what it's like to be a part of a UFO sighting. Except stoned friends don't start calling news crews and reporting lost trains.

The other great aspect of a spaceship encounter is that the so called "UFO Experts" come rushing onto the scene. It's amazing that there are people who maintain they are experts in a field that has no actual evidence verifying its existence. It's like claiming to be an authority on ghosts or in using "the force." Now, some of these individuals only study the general possibility of extra-terrestrial life. This is at least a reasonable field of study. The crazies I'm talking about are the ones who stand firm in their belief that there is life in outer space that is continually trying to make contact with us. They are rabid conspiracy theorists. Many of them have spent years studying to be historians or scientists only to suddenly and fervently begin to preach the existence of aliens. It is essentially a conversion to insanity - equivalent to being a science fiction writer for many years and then suddenly deciding to base an actual and allegedly legitimized religion around your fantastical writings.

While I stand behind my ardent cynicism I do concede the possibility that I am wrong. Maybe these truly are extraterrestrial visitors stopping by for a brief glimpse of our planet. Maybe they just don't think it's an appropriate time for a stop and chat, or maybe they saw Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" and the threat of global warming makes landing too risky of an enterprise.

I can only imagine how the parents of these alien historians reacted when told of their new scholarly pursuits. It must have been like going to a well respected educational institution to study accounting for four years and at the end telling mom and dad that you've decided to become a stand-up comedian. While parents are supposed to show undying support, this would surely test their limits.

This is why it seems pretty ironic that many of these occurrences happen within the Bible Belt - the ardently religious epicenter of the south. I say this because the way I react to the thought of UFOs must have been just how Sarah reacted when Abraham returned with stories of his long discussions with his so-called "God."

"I just talked to God"

"Really, what did he look like?"

"Well, I didn't see him"

"Huh?"

"Yea he just talked to me. From the clouds"

"Listen Abe, maybe you should lay down for a while."

"No, I'm serious. And he told me that he wanted me to sacrifice our son Isaac to him."

I do not doubt the Bible. I was raised a good little Jewish boy. But I bet Abraham wasn't greeted with backslaps and high-fives. I could just see this scene going down in my house. My mom would have my dad in a straight jacket before he could say the word "exodus."

If one of my friends confessed this to me, my first thought would be to ask if it was a good or bad acid trip. My friend might as well put on a cape, walk around with a wand and ask me to call him a magic wizard. But as UFO sightings are nothing new, they will not stop anytime soon. Christopher Columbus reported seeing strange lights that intermittently appeared and disappeared in the sky during his various voyages. But remember, he also thought the world was flat.