UFOs: A Little Humor with Leeuna

Nervous Chatter
by Leeuna Foster
February 14, 2008

It seems that everything we buy these days is sealed in child-proof wrapping? Why do the
manufactures feel the need to shrink wrap everything in this indestructible material? Each time we attempt to open something we have to run next-door and borrow the neighbor's chain saw and blow torch to get the plastic from around the item...and these are the things like snack crackers and chips.

To open up a kid's toy that's sealed in that stuff requires the "jaws of life". It takes two days to open the package and the kid plays with the toy for five minutes then it breaks all to pieces. Why don't they make the toy out of this same material? Toys would last for centuries if they did.

It simply amazes me when I think of how technology has advanced in the past twenty or thirty years? One of my favorite inventions is the microwave. Whenever I'm pressed for time or bone-tired it's nice to be able to nuke a dinner and have it on the table in less than ten minutes. Or have a hot sandwich in a few seconds. Is this how the term "fast-food" originated? I wonder how fast it would make a cup of instant coffee.

Once I tried making "instant" potatoes in the microwave. They disappeared. I think they were beamed aboard a star ship somewhere in a galaxy far, far away.

I think someone should invent a microwave cooler. This would be great for times when the food or drink is too hot and you 're really hungry. Nothing irritates me more than burning my tongue unless it's listening to political campaign speeches, or losing my car keys. Or perhaps when I'm late for an appointment or I stub my toe, or my ink pen runs out of ink, or when people talk to me...

I guess a lot of things irritate me. I've become an irritable person. Maybe it's all the caffeine I
have been consuming lately. But I love my coffee. A day without coffee is like a day without orange juice...for the people who like orange juice...

When I was a little girl my grandma would pour a little of her coffee into the saucer, blow on it to cool it, then drink it from the saucer. I wonder if this was a generation thing or a southern thing.

Do you believe in flying saucers? No, not the kind that's followed by flying ashtrays, cups and
a frying pan, accompanied by loud screaming and name-calling. I mean the UFO kind.

Why do they call it a UFO sometimes and other times they call it a flying saucer? Is it because once they identify it as a flying saucer it is no longer an unidentified flying object?

I wonder what kind of fuel is used to power a UFO. Does it run on gasoline? Kerosene? Maybe it runs on caffeine. It could, you know.

I've heard that too much caffeine can make a person extremely nervous. Some people talk a lot when they get nervous. They just go on and on about everything and their conversation jumps from one thing to another. It can be downright annoying sometimes.

I drink a lot of coffee. Do I seem nervous to you? Am I babbling? I suppose I should cut
back on the caffeine. I should probably switch to decaf, but I don't know if I would like the taste. I think it must be the caffeine that gives the coffee its flavor.

Maybe I should just stop drinking coffee completely. I wonder if they make decaffeinated coffee tables. Maybe I should switch to using a milk crate.

Are you sure I'm not annoying you...