Strange things afoot? Blame them on the wind

In My Opinion

By: Josh Grenzsund | Columnist

If you go out and do something really strange in the coming weeks don't be too hard on yourself- it may not be your fault. When you bark like a dog at the bank teller or call the Secret Service about the ship coming from Gliese 876, again, you can blame it on the wind, literally.

There are many places around the world where both anecdotal evidence and serious scientific study has indicated that seasonal winds in some places can actually drive people crazy - the Santa Ana or Devil's Wind in Los Angeles, The Chinook Wind in Calgary, and winds in Geneva and Israel, just to name a few. Though these are among the most documented areas, similar occurrences can happen almost anywhere with hot dry summers - even here in Eugene.

The theory is that hot dry winds from a desert, valley or plain carry with them a high positive ion ratio. To counteract these ions the brain triggers the release of serotonin and melatonin, which in turn triggers an adrenaline release. The adrenaline, however, is not as quickly renewed as the other chemicals, and the body's chemistry becomes unbalanced. Then people go crazy.

But the ions can affect different people in different ways. Those in their mid-twenties and younger may feel euphoric and energetic, while older individuals may experience more adverse results. Some physical effects can be headaches, dizziness, twitching of the eyes and fatigue. Psychological effects can include emotional imbalance, insecurity, irritation and anxiety.

Winds are not the only source of positive ions and their accompanying results. The positive ions from computer screens and a high positive ion ratio during full moons are also believed to cause similar effects. But neither of these can compare to days of extended exposure to a breeze of positive ions, the effect of which is felt by the entire population.

I grew up about 80 miles from where the great plains meet the Rocky Mountains, and thinking back, I am certain the lazy 100-degree air pressing down from Alberta must have carried a bunch of those Chinook ions. At least that would help explain some of the delusions my brother and I had in those summer days.
The Cold War was still a reality and living just an hour south of Malmstrom Air Force Base and its dozens of ICBMs undoubtedly colored our imaginations, but it may have been the winds that pushed us over the edge and saw us hiking out of town toward a distant grassy hill. While looking through binoculars from our yard we had noticed a spindly structure that resembled an antenna. Surmising this belonged to an underground Soviet spy station, we set out to expose the secret base.

It turned out that the copper wire from the small antenna went into the ground and any opening to the hilltop base was too well disguised and hidden for us to find. But the hike did reveal a surreal scene of the brown valley and small town waving like a mirage below us. It also revealed to us our next mission.

We spotted a small smoke plume just a few miles further south of town and determined that this was obviously caused by a recent UFO crash landing - perhaps even the previous night.

We rode out there the next day, stashing our bikes in a creek bottom at the first sign of trucks and people. We walked stealthily through the trees, following just below a ridgeline to avoid being seen by the men in green and yellow fire-fighting gear. They were a recovery team for sure, posing as a USFS fire crew.

The west side of the fire line was abandoned and we crept behind boulders and trees, covering our faces with our hands to protect them from the searing heat from the spot fires, hoping to catch a glimpse of the craft. But the heat and a foot full of hot coals and ash sent us back to the creek and back to town, certain that we had not seen enough to prove there was not a crash.

Days and weeks of high positive ion exposure could not have done anything to hold back our active imaginations, but if nothing else that memory illustrates one of the real issues that divides people and tears families apart - attitudes towards alien contact.

Mass exposure to destabilizing positive ions over the coming weeks may lay bare this hot-button issue that common wisdom would have you avoid at dinner parties. The UFO debate is something everybody has an opinion on and the differences can fracture even the most seemingly cohesive community. Eugene is no exception.

Right here in our town there are those who have been on board alien spacecraft and those who believe that a belief in alien abduction is grounds for institutionalization, those who prepare a shrine for the arrival and those who stock up on 7.62mm ammunition for the day they come, those who support our government's active exploration for contact and those who decry this as waste, those who declare that 'they' have been here for decades and those who debunk such claims, those who long for the intergalactic future of Star Trek and those who think God is the only alien being worth believing in.

So, breathe deep and keep your eyes open. No matter what it is, strange things are bound to happen.