There's
the Red Vote, the Blue Vote . . . and the Little Green Vote
By
Dana Milbank
Tuesday, September 18, 2007; Page A02
Federal
law limits the participation of resident aliens in the political process. But
it is silent on the role of extraterrestrial aliens.
This
loophole has not been lost on the life forms who arrived on these shores aboard
flying saucers with little more than the antennae on their backs. After years
of suffering without suffrage, these beings are now seeking to play a role in
the 2008 presidential campaign.
That,
at any rate, is the considered opinion of the Paradigm Research Group, which held
a news conference at the National Press Club yesterday to demand that presidential
candidates support a "truth amnesty" to end the "government-imposed
truth embargo on the facts confirming an extraterrestrial presence."
"The
truth amnesty disclosure project is reportedly recommended by the participating
extraterrestrials themselves," Alfred Webre of the Institute for Cooperation
in Space announced to the humans-only gathering, next door to a speech on Iraq
by Rep. Jack Murtha. "That is the specific extraterrestrial civilization
which approximately 60 years ago entered into a top-secret CIA human-extraterrestrial
liaison program."
The
2008 presidential cycle has already been an abnormal one, and the candidates yesterday
resisted this attempt to turn the race toward the paranormal.
"Let
me check in with the mothership," Phil Singer, a Hillary Clinton spokesman,
answered when asked about the truth embargo.
"We're
more focused on lifting the government-imposed truth embargo on issues like the
war in Iraq," replied Bill Burton, a spokesman for Barack Obama.
Dismissive
answers such as these from the two Democratic front-runners leave an opening for
other candidates to claim the alien vote -- a prospect that could create havoc
in the primaries if large numbers of ETs are found to be living in Iowa and New
Hampshire.
The
likeliest beneficiary: New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, who wrote a foreword to
the "Roswell Dig Diaries," a UFO book. "As a 25-year-old he was
an employee of a secret CIA extraterrestrial liaison program," Webre explained.
"He has inside knowledge."
But
the knowledge must still be secret: His spokeswoman didn't respond to an inquiry.
Also
a favorite of the ET crowd is Dennis Kucinich, the Ohio congressman. "I'm
sorry to out you, Dennis, but he knows a lot about this subject," confided
Stephen Bassett of the Paradigm Research Group. "If he brings it forward
as a presidential candidate, he's going to make some history."
The
Republican side is "really tough" for the UFO crowd, but Bassett gives
his nod to John McCain, a former Navy pilot, over Ron Paul, who was an Air Force
flight surgeon. "McCain has shown some displeasure with the way NASA has
conducted its affairs," Bassett reasoned.
More
than anybody, Bassett has been working to elevate alien affairs as an issue in
2008. He filmed video questions for the CNN-You Tube debates; they weren't selected.
He urged George Stephanopoulos to ask the candidates about ETs; no luck. He wrote
an article titled the "ET Ticket" -- it gives the nod to Clinton and
Richardson -- for publications such as UFO Magazine. And, fresh from the weekend's
"X-Conference 2007" convention in Gaithersburg, he rented a room at
the press club yesterday to announce "new efforts to introduce the UFO/ET
issue into the ongoing presidential campaigns."
An
economy-minded Bassett didn't order a microphone for his event, and the "X-Conference"
banner he bought on the Internet ("one-third the price of Kinkos!")
was too big for the room and had to be continued on a second wall. About 40 X-Conference
conventioneers packed the room, far outnumbering the handful of journalists.
But
none of this slowed Bassett, who treated the assembly to startling revelations:
the "Jimmy Carter ET studies," the "Rockefeller initiative toward
the Clinton administration to end the UFO truth embargo" and the "1967
Malmstrom Air Force Base incident, where our SAC missiles were shut down by an
ET craft hanging over the base."
Not
one of the participants or audience members cracked a smile. Neither did they
giggle when Webre proposed an environmental rationale for the ET amnesty program,
saying the aliens' "advanced technology," which uses nonpolluting fuel,
could "revolutionize the transport of goods and people on this planet and
rejuvenate the biosphere."
The
faces remained serious and earnest when Robert Miles, a film producer, announced
plans to give each member of Congress a high-definition DVD titled "Fastwalkers:
They Are Here." On the cover, a mean-looking alien eyes the Capitol and saucers
circle overhead. "Don't tell me the American public's not interested,"
Miles challenged.
So
far, however, the presidential candidates remain, well, alienated. Even Kucinich.
"If you have a serious question, just ask me," Kucinich spokeswoman
Natalie Laber replied when told of the UFO crowd's hopes for her boss. "If
not, then just keep your silly comments to yourself."