December Astrology for Writers

ARIES (March 21 - April 19):
Your, excessive, use, of, commas, this, month, may, be, compulsive. And you should try and resist writing very long sentences that go on and on describing things which are not very important or pertinent to the subject at hand and which can be very irritating for the reader.

(April 20 - May 20):
Is the following how you act lately? Do you write down an idea for an article and promise yourself you will do it. And then you get another idea? And another? And another? Stop this habit this month. Ideas are not worth the paper they are written on unless you complete them. Do it, one idea, one article at a time.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20):
This holiday season, are you going to sit down to a festive dinner with relatives and friends? Tip: keep a notepad and pencil in your hip pocket. Then, as you eat and watch others eat, make notes for an article about gluttony and the weight gainers all around you.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22):
The best gift you will receive this holiday season is an e-mail from a reader of one of your articles. They will say "I enjoyed it so much I read it again and again." Or "I laughed so much I couldn’t stop crying." Or "What you have written will change my life for good."

LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22):
Are you a single, unattached, and lonely individual who is wishing hard for a truly desirable partner who can also do your typing for you and check the spelling and get some photographic reference and deal with the editor and make sure the cat is fed? Your wish may come true this month.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22):
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Of course you do. Otherwise you couldn't be a writer. Writers believe in bearded old men in red costumes who slide down chimneys to place prettily-wrapped presents underneath Christmas trees. Writers are dreamers, especially you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22):
Let's be very serious this month. Be serious about not being serious. Hang loose. Don't take things too seriously. Daydream. Go with the flow. Giggle. Tickle your boss. Put a thorn-less rose on the pillow of that someone special you lie with nightly. Write something funny, too.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21):
Celebrate yourself this month. You are a storyteller. You, in some way or other, write the magical words "Once upon a time..." Your readers are full of anticipation. They want to be informed, entertained, thrilled, frightened, made sad, or made happy. Readers are delighted, thanks to you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21):
Will your impending year 2007 be different from the way your life unfolded in 2006? It will be partly up to you, up to your conviction, your persistence, your tenacity, your writing skill. But there might also be some sheer luck, some good fortune. Let's hope so.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19):
Prediction: as you read these words someone else, somewhere else, at this very moment is reading these very same words. You are connected by these humble text symbols, these words, these sentences. Say "hello" to each other. Come on, don't be shy. Hey, you might actually meet each other some day!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18):
The very best gift you could give this holiday season and into 2007 is to help someone become literate. You could help them simply by reading to them, then gradually change to reading with them, then change to listening to them read. Share the wonderful gift of being able to read.

PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20):
Your article writing will improve this month and into next year. Instead of just stringing together facts, figures and opinions, you will introduce emotion, passion, energy, conviction, exhilaration, originality, and enthusiasm. Wow, readership of your writing will soar to new heights. Halleluiah!